Prolonged guilt is Counter Productive

Photo by Ravi Roshan

I am a religious person — to myself. Not validated by a cleric or a priest. I am myself’s best judge. And without seeking validation — I am sailing better than when I sought validation.

Recently an incident happened, somewhat personal, and it gave me a guilt. Down this road few hours, the guilt started amplifying and made living hell. I told myself, it is ok to be sorry — but not at the cost of my commitments, projects, and promises.

I came back to my phone, made the important calls, opened the todo list, wrote pending things and now I am writing this article.

Friends, the guilt is bad — when it starts harming your day to day living. Regret is good, you find humility in regret, but overdoing it — snatches the fun from your life. Living bright needs you overcome all the bad happenings right now, take control of your life’s wagon and steer it out of chaos.

Focus on the Normals around you

If you read my older articles, I give due emphasis to sleeping. This is the most important ingredient I link with my productivity recipe. Without sleeping good, I collapse the entire day ahead. In fact, right after this article, I am hitting my bed ( it is 1019 night in Pakistan).

Feel good that you had a sound sleep yesterday. The excessive guilt, regret and hopelessness did not snatch your night from you. You still slept and woke up in the morning just fine. Life had itself coming towards you like all other days and same amount of opportunities were presented to you.

When in low times, we start forgetting the good aspects our life offers us. Life is rich, fun and amazing. We paint it with dull colours and blame the circumstances.

Circumstances are self created. Environments are self created. The bad in your surroundings are your own limitations you wear due to your inner fear.

None is beyond our control. The murderers fall a prey to their losses, because they fail to get out of the regret. Rapists become a victim because they are told they are worst. Porn Stars fail to join the society back, because they carry the taboo on their chests. When you listen to society, it burns you.

We stop fighting the labels given to us. Instead we start burying ourselves into self-regrets and self-guilt.

If you murdered someone, or you a rapist, or a porn star — it is ok if it was your past. You still are a wonderful human being, who can still sit among the best people and still create your own world. You may become a priest, a cleric. But the people's label can not tear you down.

The labels given to you are not what you put on yourself — they are wrong. The right labels are the labels you give yourself when you stand in front of mirror and look at yourself beyond the regret, guilt and failures.

There, inside the mirror, you see a beautiful person who is a might in himself.

People you worry about, also worry about you.

My mother. She is worried every second if I am ok, eating ok, sleeping ok, relationship with wife ok, and job ok. You must have these caring people around you who keep reminding you, you need to stand back on your feet and fight.

On their faces, you might not be a good human being. And your siblings might give you bad names for misbehaving.

But you know inside, you care about your hate filled siblings and your mother. Inside you, you know you have them a call away and when in trouble they will be the ear listening you.

These people, who love you, are here. They did not change, neither leave you alone to die, nor hated you inside. They worry about you, like you worry about them.

It gives hope. Relationships give us good feedbacks. If we are fighting good with them, we are going good.

It is a long road, let life unfold itself to you. Let loose. Try to liberate your self from your past.

Artists do not live in the past.
— Steve Jobs

Be a futuristic person who looks forward, head down and does not stop. 2 days walking this way, might not give you much feedback.

We overestimate what we can do in 1 year. And we underestimate what we can do in a decade.
Tony Robbins

Become a decade person. Let life roll itself on to you. You will be money filled to your tummy top, good cars, private jets, a nice home and a good family. If you become the Steve Jobs’ artist, or you become the Tony — who started a janitor and became a mega millionaire — you also will find yourself sitting on these cross roads.

These people were not angels. They did not follow the discipline. None did not tell a lie, lived a corrupt-less day and entirely lived sober.

The secret is not living a life of discipline — it is to live a life where you overcome your guilt, repent some, and get back on your foot.

If you keep moving forward, even when you are on the low sides of your life, YOU WILL MAKE IT.

Conclusion

I started this article at 1007 PM Pakistan time. Now it is 1036 PM. I wrote my heart felt feelings in nearly 30 minutes.

Things were not so good for me 30 minutes back. But knowing, I managed to write, show up on my commitment of writing an article daily, and face the society. I feel great.

If you write your feelings on paper, you show up everyday, you catch people's garbage, and you smile — life unfolds itself in amazing ways.

You learn more. You learn to stand back on your feet, smile and keep moving forward.

If you were walking — and some guilt made you stop walking forward — I say, murder this feeling of continuous regret, re-commit and start walking again.

The steps you have walked are still there and they are going to represent you 10 years down this road. Not guilt, not regret, not failures and not emotions. But the steps you move forwad.